Dealing with Trichotillomania,

I thought I'd write a post explaining a little information about me that many of you won't know about, since I've been a young child I've had trouble dealing with my appearance, not because I'm insecure (this isn't a sob story so don't worry!).. A lot of my family members noticed something different about me, it was obvious and It was impossible to hide from everyone. I continuously felt the urge to pull out my hair, not the hair on my head, but my eyelashes and my eyebrows. You can imagine what I had to deal with going to primary school, it was awful looking back what I went through, I was such a push over when it came down to the everyday comments I always expected to receive, continuously telling them "oh it's nothing", or "I have alopecia due to stress". Everything I told to every single individual person, it was clear on their face it wasn't believable but I felt it really wasn't their business anyway so I always shrugged it off. I looked like a alien and there wasn't anything to prevent it.

The worst of all had to be secondary school, make-up wasn't exactly banned but I'd say every day of attending I'd always be told to remove what I was wearing. I absolutely dreaded it, as make-up to me is still almost like a mask, covering up parts I'm insecure about, I'd be given make-up wipes to remove EVERYTHING on my face. There was one day I would say had to be the worst, a teacher I loathed pretty much forced me to remove my make-up even though she knew how I felt about it all, (you can imagine she was a nasty piece of work) no care in the world for her vulnerable student. All this lead me to so many awful paths, I wouldn't say I was depressed but I would of done anything to have a day off from school, having so much negativity in my life got me starting to overdose, self injury, the lot.


I'm still trying to fight Trich, I will always fight against it, the fact I have to wear false eyelashes every single day is tiring. It pains me I still at 18 years of age still don't have long eyelashes and not able to wear mascara like all girls do. I can't even walk out of my own house without putting on make-up, you can imagine it's costly for me having to buy so much of it, especially eyelash glue. It's so difficult to disguise the fact I have no lashes at all on my top lids (I do at the bottom), but it kind of grates on me when I get questioned quite a lot on why I wear false eyelashes daily. It's become a day-to-day routine, I'm used to it and makes me feel awful, I feel ashamed I do this but it's nothing I can control. Being patronised doesn't help me stop, it's a constant circle.

The reason I thought of sharing this is that I know Sam Faiers is in the same boat as me, I definitely think she can hide it far better than me as she's likely to have a make-up artist to help her out with natural everyday looks, but this is an awkward topic to talk about as I've never spoken to anybody about it. Doctors never treated me with the appropriate help I needed, I guess it comes down to will power, but as it is a psychological condition it feels impossible to see an end and pulling really gives you some kind of relief (as awful as that sounds it's true). We all have different personalities but I will always consider myself shy because of having this condition, it makes you feel extremely guilty/ashamed/embarrassed which can lead to a very extremely low self-esteem. I would highly recommend to anyone who may be in the same state as me, to consult your doctor, don't feel ashamed, ask for help, what's the worst that can happen? Nobody wants to feel isolated or upset, this can make a huge impact on your life, yes there may be people worse off but you're still important and you can fight this!



I feel as though I will want to delete this post, knowing some individuals are very judgemental, I'm hoping I won't be seen differently (I'm still human..) but I am happy to chat to anyone who is struggling to cope with this condition, it's an awful thing to have, absolutely nobody deserves to feel there's nothing left of them.

MAC 'Velvet teddy' lipstick craze,

 I have recently become aware of a MAC lipstick that has been spoken about non-stop which has been noticed on Kylie Jenner (rumoured so not 100% what shade she definitely uses), after the craze calmed down about her "transformation" I received an email from MAC notifying me 'Velvet teddy' lipstick was back in stock.. FINALLY, after so long of wanting to get my hands on it and not wanting to pay a stupid amount for a second hand one that are being sold throughout eBay/depop, I patiently waited and decided to get 2 just in case it would be out of stock again considering the high popularity of it. I know not everybody is a big fan of her new lips, but I personally think she should be left alone by the public and be left to make her own decisions, as a teenager who doesn't enjoy adjusting their appearance for improvement? Whether she's had lip fillers (which is a strong possibility) or her make-up artist has made her lips appear larger by just using lip liner.. she's still gorgeous as ever and has clearly made a huge impact in the media with her new look.




For somebody who has never purchased an item from MAC, I wasn't really sure what to expect, as this specific lipstick costs £15.50 I felt it would for sure be worth the money. I was not disappointed! As soon as I received it through the post I was so impressed with the shipping, packaging, the size, appearance and the scent. It's so unlike me to come across a lipstick which doesn't dry my lips out, and I found this lipstick has really impressed me by being so moisturising, it lasts hours and doesn't necessarily need re-applying very often. As well as the lipstick shade, after noticing all shades of lip liners I wasn't 100% on what is used on Kylie and of course not wanting to spend another £15.00 or more on a lip liner which may not even be a match with 'Velvet teddy', I did a little research and came across a lip liner in Rimmel London's range 'Tiramisu' RRP: £2.99, and looked perfect for the look I was wanting to achieve without paying a fortune.. (Yes exaggerating much? Ha)

 

Now hearing feedback from other girls about this shade lipstick 'Velvet teddy', I was told it may not even suit my skin colour as I'm very fair, I typically on a special occasion wouldn't consider going for this colour but I found it very classy and bold without being unflattering and totally compliments your lips even though this is a matte lipstick. To finish this look I used a lip brush, highlighting around my lips with a liquid formed concealer. This combination is absolutely perfect and highly recommend it to anyone, whether the size of your lips are small or large it's worth trying out, and talking of the subject of enhancing lips, I would also be using Fullips Lip Enhancers which look immaculate and I am incredibly pleased with them! Of course I will be in the next week or so be reviewing these because these are essential to me rather going down the route of having lip fillers.



Here are my results (without Fullips Lip Enhancers):

If any of you have tried this look I'd love to see your results too!

My Simple facial skincare routine,

Only recently I have come across a wide range of people who have highly recommended me to try out Simple's skincare products. I shouldn't admit it but I typically on a day-to-day use before I go to bed and the next morning I would just use a supermarket branded packet of wipes to remove either excess make-up or just to clean/freshen my face, but realising after waking up one morning how bad my skin had gotten and applying my make-up to find it sliding off, I decided it was time for a change and to experiment! I already know my skin type is 'combination', making it extremely oily as well as dry which makes it difficult to apply any kind of make-up, so the next time I went on a shopping trip I decided to look out for new products to try out.

Amazingly enough my nearest supermarket Tesco had a great deal on, '3 for 2', and I just had to take advantage of this so I bought the basics first of all; 'Kind to Skin Soothing Facial Toner', 'Kind to Skin Purifying Fast Action Cleansing Lotion', and 'Simple Kind to Skin Replenishing Rich Moisturiser'. Then searching around for some more deals in Boots I came across; 'Kind To Skin Deep Cleansing Face Mask' and 'Clear Skin Oil Balancing Cleansing Wipes', the plus sides of both these stores is also collecting points which is always great and I'd highly recommend anyone to join up to: Clubcard (Tesco) / Boots advantage card. (You can recieve money off vouchers/coupons from your favourite products monthly, and of course in Boots once you have collected enough points which is worth the product you have your eye on, you don't need to splash your cash and can use your points towards it making it free!)

My first thoughts were how attractive the packaging was, not too in your face, basic but very informative. I was very excited to try these new products out, there's possibly nothing worse than using a skin product which irritates/upsets your eyes and I'm pleased to share that Simple has done the complete opposite. My skin now feels fresh and I have no irritation at all, all these products have completely natural ingredients! I wasn't ever able to control my oily skin and I've found only after a week I can see the results already which is unbelievable. I find each bottle have a very generous amount and not a lot is needed when applying so you won't find you'll need to purchase more of it after a couple of weeks which is totally worth the price I originally payed for.


Now, I don't usually like to apply face masks on my skin because I hate the idea of anything getting into my eyes, and I considered it being a very messy job, but as an occasional task to take I thought I'd test out the 'Kind To Skin Deep Cleansing Face Mask'. It didn't take too long to dry after the application, so first of all on a positive note I was happy I wasn't expected to wait around for the mask to dry, so I then splashed off the dried mask with warm water, patting it dry with a towel to find my skin was glowing which I'd never seen before! I was incredibly happy with the results so I chose to follow out with using the 'Kind to Skin Soothing Facial Toner', 'Kind to Skin Purifying Fast Action Cleansing Lotion', and 'Kind to Skin Hydrating Light Moisturiser' with a cotton pad which effectively freshened my skin like I'd never seen it before. I would highly recommend all these products I have posted about as I promise you will find visible results within a couple of days, for it being such gentle products it completely reduced my oily skin. Of course if you find any time at all you feel the need to freshen up whether it's in the morning/ mid-day/evening/night, I would make use of the
'Clear Skin Oil Balancing Cleansing Wipes' rather than using more of the cleanser/toner and moisturiser.


What skin products do you swear by? I'm always up for trying out something new so feel free to leave any comments below!

Birthday wish list,

1. NARS highlighting blush / 2. Bold metals Collection by Real Techniques 301 Flat Contour / 3. Pro series Contour kit By Anastasia Beverly Hills / 4. Dipbrow pomade By Anastasia Beverly Hills / 5. MAC Pro longwear SPF10 foundation / 6. MAC Mineralize skinfinish natural

In just over a months time it'll be my 19th birthday so I thought I'd share with you all what I have my eyes on. As I only work part-time I'm not one who would go out their way to buy top of the range brands you would find in Boots, Debenhams or John Lewis. Ever since experimenting with make-up as a young teenager I have always stuck with the same brands which are very affordable for anyone, such as: Rimmel London UK, Bourjois Paris, Collection 2000 which are now known as just Collection, Seventeen, Barry M, and Maybelline. I haven't ever been disappointed with any of these, they always do the job for me so I have no objection.


I've taken a lot of inspiration from the people I follow on my Instagram which has had an affect on me to consider purchasing a range of make-up products I probably wouldn't ever think about buying, one of my recent favourite accounts has to be Plouise Makeup Academy and the reason for this is I find the work done is so attention to detail and I would pay a lot of money to have my make-up done as perfectly as the students have produced. If the Instagram account isn't familar I highly recommend you all check out her accomplishments. The products above in the image I have posted have been spoken about that regularly throughout my feed and mostly on the Instagram account that I favour a lot (linked above). The NARS highlighting blush and Contour kit are the two I want to try the most, I hear a lot about contouring and not knowing much at all about how make-up is applied I have been following various step-to-step photos I've come across just searching around the web, thank god for Google! but I didn't actually realise you have to take a lot of things into consideration such as your face shape otherwise not following these steps will not achieve the look you want. I only have very little amount of Real Techniques brushes which I must extend in the future and as Real Techniques have released there new range of Bold metals which look very luxurious, and wanting to learn the contour 'technique!', of course I'd love to use the Bold metals Collection by Real Techniques 301 Flat Contour as I have been informed it's very suitable for contouring.

Here is an image to help anyone out who is new to contouring just like I am, I'm completely clueless and forgetful when it comes to highlighting and contouring in the correct areas.

My brows are naturally fair which I absolutely loathe, they have gotten thinner over the years due to over plucking which is my biggest regret, yet there are a lot of features I would like to stand out more but my eyebrows have to be the most important for me. I typically use on daily basis a Rimmel London UK's Professional pencil in the shade 'Dark brown' which can be bought from drug stores; Superdrug and Boots, plus supermarkets. I've found no issues with using this the past couple of years, however as new products are launched throughout the year I try to put off from trying them out, majority of the time because of the price and I have to budget very strictly, but as my birthday is approaching I have been desperate to try out Dipbrow Pomade By Anastasia Beverly Hills by reason of amazing feedback and I'm admittedly up for trying something different to improve my appearance and see if this would appeal to me for an everyday usage or even just for special occasions. The advantages of this product is that it is waterproof so I can see myself favouring this a lot, I've never used gel-mouuse formed eyebrow products but reading through reviews it seems to appear it is very flattering and presents a natural look - So surely you can't go wrong for only £15.00?!

Now, I've only just purchased my first ever items from MAC online which are 2 lipstick shades and I routinely allocate my foundation and face powder to cost at least £15.00 in total. I would say I've stuck with brands such as Rimmel London UK and Bourjois Paris for a very long time, Rimmel especially! I'm very dedicated to these because I find they have always had a good reputation/background, also very easy to find in your local high street. I've found for having combination skin (being very dry and very oily) I've been struggling keeping up with touch ups if I'm out anywhere especially in public as it's never nice to have a shiny forehead and extremely dry skin in areas you would like covered, though only a couple of weeks ago I've stumbled across on the MAC website you can have a live web chat for advice on foundation advice, they were incredibly friendly and helpful after me telling them my skin type, skin colour and then they let me know what products I would need which are MAC Pro longwear SPF10 foundation and MAC Mineralize skinfinish natural. So I am very intrigued and determined to use these and all my life I've needed a miracle and I'm praying these might just be it!!!



Have any of you got a birthday coming up soon? I'd love to hear what is on your wish list!

Vita Liberata NKD Skin tanning range,

As a new blogger I've been doing a lot of research, exploring many companies and finding out about products and I was very lucky enough to get the opportunity to review Vita Liberata UK's NKD SKN Dark tinted tan liquid, which I am incredibly grateful for.

This product is £10.00 which I honestly believe is such a bargain, and of course to apply this you will need a tanning mitt which is at a small cost of £4.00. My first thoughts already had to be how affordable this is for the younger generation who don't want to splash out their cash and still look perfectly bronzed!
It's a 75ML bottle which I think is the right amount for your first application, it is a liquid spray so there is surprisingly enough no mess at all, dries within seconds so you don't have to wait around, plus there is no need to wear loose clothing but if you would feel more comfortable in a baggy t-shirt and perhaps shorts or just loose trousers go ahead. Therefore very easy to apply (hassle free!). I expected to be instructed to moisturise before hand but it actually states not to, so I of course went along with the instructions to make sure my tan came out perfect the next morning as I want it to look very subtle without looking too false. Considering the time and effort taken on applying the product, I would suggest after to go over again where you've applied the tan liquid to ensure you haven't missed out anywhere and it looks even throughout, especially getting inbetween your fingers/toes, knuckles, wrists, ankles etc.

As you do the next morning after fake tanning the previous night, I showered off the excess so I could see the results, I couldn't believe my eyes. I made sure not too scrub too hard on my skin as I still wanted the tan to show up and not fade a lot. Overall after showering and patting my skin dry so I wouldn't look a patchy mess, I still looked very brown (not orange) and I have to say how happy I am with the results, I couldn't believe how natural it looked. I noticed also that no tanning lotion went onto my bed sheets or towel/s which I was very surprised about as this always becomes a problem when I want to fake tan but I will in the future defiantly have to purchase again!

Here are the results:

I highly recommend this range, If you are very pale wanting to go for maybe a more 'natural' look, I would recommend going for the medium shade. Of course there are other tanning solutions in Vita Liberata UK's range so if you would like to try them out here is there website! http://www.vitaliberata.co.uk/ - You can also purchase their products from Boots where tanning lotions starting price is only £15.00, if that isn't a bargain then I don't know what is!

I hope I have helped anyone out there who never know what tanning lotion/mousse to go for,
 it would be great to hear feedback and thoughts on what you think of this product!

Cadbury creme egg brownie recipe,

I've recently become absolutely obsessed with baking, it's such a simple task to take on a weekend and I really think it's a lot easier and tastier baking from scratch (not buying already made cake mix!) of course it's optional but it isn't the same. Out of all the cakes/cupcakes I've made this one has to be my favourite and is great for kids too, it will defiantly put you in the mood for easter!

You will need:

• Depending on size of brownie, but I chose to use 4 creme eggs (Halved),
• 3 large eggs,
• 275g golden caster sugar,
• 185g unsalted butter,
• 185g dark chocolate,
• 85g plain flour,
• 40g cocoa powder.

Method

1. Prehead the oven to 160c, and grease baking tin with a small amount of the unsalted butter,
2.  Melt the butter and dark chocolate together in a bowl over hot water until completely melted and then wait to cool,
3. Break 3 eggs into a bowl and tip in 275g of golden caster sugar. With an electric whisk (if you have one, otherwise a wooden spoon is just as good but can take longer) on maximum speed, whisk the eggs and sugar just until they look thick and creamy.
4. Pour the cooled chocolate mixture over the eggy mousse, and gently fold together,
   
5. Hold a sieve over the bowl of eggy chocolate mixture and sift the cocoa and flour mixture, shaking the sieve from side to side, to cover the top evenly. Gently, fold in the mixture,
   
6.  Pour into the baking tin and cook for 15 minutes then take it out of the oven and gently press the creme egg halves into the mix, spacing them apart evenly. Put back in the oven for another 5-10 minutes,
   
7. Leave to cool before removing from the tin, and ENJOY!
   
   Tip
   
   As some people aren't big sweet lovers, I think a small amount of extra thick fresh double cream with the brownie would make it taste even more amazing than it is already!
   
   
   I hope to see some of you try this recipe out as it is a must!!!

My first ever post!

I'm so excited to share all my experiences I have taken with you all. I have such high hopes for my new blog! But not to put everything on a downer, I will certainly be putting my new blog under a makeover very shortly so I apologise to anybody who is disappointed so far.. I'll get there, we all have to start somewhere, right!?